Now that the site is back up, I wanted to post a few things that have been bothering me over the last few weeks.
I just moved into a new place a few weeks ago and I felt quite strange. It seems that my housemates are excluding me from their mutual activities. This would not usually bother me. However, we are all from the same religon, have some mutual friends and few other things in common. In fact, I heard about a vacancy in this place from a mutual friend of my housemate and I.
Today, though, my housemate's family came over and went out to dinner. My other housemate (who is her best friend after only a month and a half) and her friend were invited but not me. I was right there in the front room were everyone passed by me several times. It didn't even seem like this was an exclusive activity.
Am I just over senstive? Is it me? I know that sometimes I will be quiet or stay in my room. Yet, this still seems like a big slight. I wonder if they do it on purpose or are just oblivious to anyone outside their immediate circle.
This is not the first time this has ever happened. I have been locked out of conversations countless times. Well, as if I really want to talk about boys and clothes anyway. They are graduate students and only have conversations that reach the level of high school students.
For one of my housemate's credit, she did see how upset I was (though I tried to hide it) and asked if I was alright and if she could do anything. I said I was fine of course.
Honestly, I am tired of this. I have been ignored far too long. At least when I was younger they made it more obvious and seem to have more of a reason (I didn't have the right clothes, my parent's did not have nice jobs and so forth). I cannot help but think that this is do to the same reason. They go shopping together and have lunch at nice restaurants. I cannot afford to do either of those activities.
Such problems extend for me beyond my housemates. In graduate school, especially in this institution, I am looked over countless times. It seems that the attractive, wealthy people are the ones noticed. Unfortunately, this means they are the ones to become most successful in life.
Do you ever experience the same issues in school, work, relationships?